Learn to control the beast @WikiHow
The power of controlling your own emotions..Why you should learn to control the beast
The power to control your own emotions.
Emotional reaction is a choice. Just as fear, doubts and other emotions are a choice, and they can all be controlled.
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| How to control your emotions. |
Whether you're angry, sad, depressed, jealous or any other negative
emotion, there are very easy ways to quickly change that and naturally
start to feel happy.
It becomes easier when you understand how your brain works and what actually makes you feel certain emotions.
The brain is like a computer, there are lots of shortcuts it uses
to make general living easier, and these shortcuts can be used to
achieve happiness at any time. (more on this later). Read on for tips on
how to control your emotions.
When you gain control of these emotions and not let them control you, you can react to any situation calmly and react efficiently,
not wasting time getting angry and upset. It's rare that someone looks
back on their life and says, 'I wish I spent more time being angry and
upset' It just doesn't happen.
Life's too short for that. Obviously
there are some situations which can't help but invoke an emotion you
might not want, for example the death of a loved one, feeling sad is
natural in this situation and to suppress it might actually do more harm
than good. It's good to let your emotions out sometimes.
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| Control your emotions or they'll control you. |
However, say for example, you miss the bus. you're going to be late for
work and your boss might shout at you, or something like that. Now
naturally you'd get very annoyed and start blaming things like the
traffic, or yourself for not getting up early enough, or the bus driver
for arriving a few minutes before he usually does.
But at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter what you think at that stage, once you've missed that bus, you've missed it, you can't go back in time and change it so the only thing left that you're in control of is how you react. Go ahead and read that again if you need to.
Now, knowing that, you're probably thinking, well I have no choice how I feel when I miss that bus, it just happens. Right, let's take a look at this.
So you miss the bus, and just as it starts to drive away, you start
thinking about all the things that will now happen as a result,
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| Mental shortcut. |
* you'll be late for work,
* your boss will shout at you,
* you won't get all the work you need to get done in on time.
And I'm sure there are more. But, If you just say to yourself the second
you realize you've missed the bus, this has happened, there's nothing I
can do about it, the only thing I can do, is decide how I'm going to
respond to this.
Okay I've missed the bus, it doesn't really matter that much, I'll
just go into work with a positive attitude, smiling, and say to my boss
that the bus came early and I missed it.
Because you see, at this point in time two things are certain,
* You've missed the bus.
*You will arrive to work late.
There is nothing at this point you can do other than turn up a bit late,
so just do that. Don't stress, don't worry about it because that option
has gone now. The bus has left, and you're not on it. So why stress
about it?
You're going to have to go to work late regardless of how you feel right
now, so surely it's better to turn up feeling happy and calm than
stressed and angry.
That was just a small example, the same can be said about weather, it starts pouring down with rain and you have to walk across town to get to the station.
You're going to get wet at this stage, there's nothing you can do to change that, but don't let it get to you and don't let it change your emotions
and mood, because it will snowball on you, and when you get home you'll
be in a bad mood all because you got worked up about walking through a
bit of rain.
That could affect any number of other things at home, relationships, you could miss opportunities because you're in a bad mood
and decide for example, not to talk to the person on the street who
seems excited about something and wants to share it with you. you could
not pick up the phone to a potential dream job offer, all because you're
a bit pissed off about the weather.
Right now I'm going to share a few tips and tricks that instantly make you feel happier.
These are perfect for other times, say you wake up feeling really lazy
and you don't want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. Try a few of these.
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| Controlling your emotions. |
- Eat your favorite food. This is a good one because your brain
has got so used to associating the favorite food with happiness and
smiling that you just can't help but feel a bit better.
- Be around people that make you happy. Talk to people you are
comfortable around, and you'll feel better. If you're not around any,
call them. even a phone call to a good friend helps a great deal.
- Splash some water on your face. It's best if it's cold water, or even better, have a freezing cold shower.
You might be thinking, 'No that's a stupid idea I want to feel better
not freeze my ass off' I can assure you, if you have a cold shower, and I
mean cold tap turned all the way on, no hot water, you WILL feel really good after. It gets your circulation flowing better, pumps you full of adrenaline, really wakes you up and you'll feel like you can take on the world. Don't take my word for it though, try it.
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| Relax. |
- Watch some comedy film or clip on Youtube. Just smiling and
laughing will change your emotions instantly. Even if you don't feel
like watching it, just smiling will make you feel good.
- Listen to good and positive music. I don't mean sad songs or
depressing lyrics, I mean songs that get you pumped up and happy. One
that you know the words to is best because you start singing along in
your head and you'll soon forget the anger or sadness you were feeling
before.
- Have a shower and do your hair, put fresh clean clothes on, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you look really good. Believe it when you say it as well.
- Lose the illusion of control. Some things we have no control
over at all. These things include the weather, unforeseen circumstances
like the bus being early, a rough scary type of man on the subway,
angry dog chasing you, etc, these things we can't control. they just
happen. The only thing constant in this world is the fact that everything changes.
- However good or bad a situation is, It will change. read that again, and really take it in. Any situation, will change. maybe not at first but nothing lasts forever.
- When you start being happy regardless of the situation, other
people will start being attracted to you and look up to you as the
person who's always happy. When they're down they'll look to you for
inspiration and reasons to cheer up. this is a good reputation to have.
Another very good tip is one from Mentalist 'Derren Brown' and it's this. If your feeling a lot of emotion about something, embrace that emotion for a moment, let it flood into you, and try and visualize it in your mind, make the image really vivid, with lots of bright colors, and as scary or negative as it can be made.
Really visualize it, and feel the emotions that come over you as
you do. Now in your mind, look at the image of whatever it may be, an
anticipated bad situation, a fear, a bad memory, whatever it is that's
creating bad emotions within you, and slowly make the visualization get smaller.
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| "Emotional control" |
Let the physical size of the image shrink in your mind. as it does this, take the color out of it. see it in black and white. Keep bringing the size down, smaller and smaller until it's eventually the size of a postage stamp.
As you've done this, you should have felt the emotion shrink with the image and suddenly, you don't have the emotion over it anymore. Every time you feel the emotion come back, do the same thing, visualize it in your mind and make it smaller and colourless.
To sum up, negative emotions never help anything and always lead to bad
things. Don't waste your time with them, and remember you always have a
choice about how you feel. Sometimes, it seems difficult because we're
so used to being guided and controlled by our emotions that we just feel
like we aren't in control, but we are.
If you really think about it, and i mean take some time to really think
about that last time you felt angry or upset with someone, right from
the start you had the choice how to feel.
Here are some things that will be of interest.
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